The other clans think they so fine
but can they make clam chowder?
We'll stomp their heads and crush their bones
Into a fine white powder.

We are the Cooks of War we are
We fight and proudly cook
delicious dishes to boost morale
From a secret recipe book.

Come one come all we are the best,
we rock at kicking butt.
We'll throw your limbs into a stew
of clams and coconut.

So fear us when you see our name.
Tremble - and you should!
Flee from our swords of khaldunite
And bows of ironwood.

We are the Cooks of War we are
We fight and proudly cook
delicious dishes to boost morale
From a secret recipe book.

From east to west, from north to south
We dominate the field.
We'll stuff spaghetti down your mouth
until you choke "I yield!"

... IronChef 4/29/02

Stepping upon the khaldunite plain,
He viewed all was unscouted.
Though raising forts and mining deep,
He sallied forth undaunted.

Through bees that buzz too closely by
He rode on through the fog,
Until upon a hill he saw
Harouns beyond a bog.

A carp he rose within his main,
And money he did earn.
Yet forward ran across the plain
And lands he did new learn.

Yes sally forth did he and so
He learned yet more of yonder.
And so great the danger was there more
Friends scouted there in turn.

Close by, a danger he perceived,
Across the wondrous landscape,
Both lairs and towns he did relate
Unto his allies firm.

With new found force and allies fresh
he forged upon the plain.
Haroun, the lairs and all alike
Fell under his domain.

Blasted now with forces main,
He tasks his friends with work.
Gladly to his support they come,
Yet still he scouts the murk.

And lo! He finds a town so weak,
A village so to render,
His raiding force dealt blows to death
And so the conflict ended.

This was the ballad of Marduk,
A man of power and vim,
A trusty soul, and valorous too.
His allies honor him.

IronChef, 12/1/05